


Hello, We Must Be Drinking

by secretsofluftnarp (luftie)



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Beyond Belief, Crossover, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:31:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftie/pseuds/secretsofluftnarp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two well-dressed and highly inebriated strangers suddenly appear in Night Vale, with no memory of how or why they arrived. Who are they, and what do they want from us? And how are they possibly carrying that much booze on their persons?</p><p> </p><p>[This could take place right before the events of "Orange Grove" -- Carlos is in Night Vale, Maureen is intern -- but also, time is whatever, right?]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, We Must Be Drinking

"IT IS TIME," Cecil began, booming his voice into the little studio microphone. He loved doing the introduction at the top of his radio show. They always felt so...welcoming.  
  
"No, no, no, this cannot be the right script," Cecil said, dropping back to a conversational cadence. "'Send the little ones to dreamland'? Not only is that now _highly_ illegal, doesn't anyone remember what happened the last time we tried sending anyone to Dreamland? The shuttle never left orbit, and we were left picking up the pieces of the resulting shattered dreams for years. And if you've ever stepped on a shattered dream, you'd know -- you can get tetanus that way."  
  
Cecil shuffled his papers. None of them seemed right. They had words like "spooky" and "mysterious suspense" and things he would never say, names of people he had never heard of, and not in the normal way where pages had clearly been redacted in neon green marker by the Sherrif's Secret Police. 

Cecil clicked on the intercom. "Intern Maureen? Is my regular script in the break room? Because none of it seems to be here."  
  
"Did you accidentally bring your fanfiction to the mic again," Maureen said dryly.

"I don't...think...so? This doesn't really seem like my style. There are quite a few alcohol references, and no sharks."

"Well I don't see the script," Maureen said. "Maybe if you don't have today's news you can go out and ask people questions. Questions about their lives, and values, and 'how was your week, Maureen, oh that's nice to hear --'"

"That's an excellent idea, Maureen," Cecil said. "I'm going to call Carlos. I'm sure he has something extra scientific to report."

For some mysterious reason, Maureen sighed and walked away.  
  
Cecil exchanged a series of messages with Carlos and danced his way back to the mic. "Listeners! I have some very interesting and _very scientific_ news.  Carlos says he has encountered some newcomers to town, who he suspects may be _time travelers_. These  newcomers -- a man and a woman -- do not look like the silver-clad future-people we occasionally saw in town in the early days of time travel, but rather, and I quote, 'old Hollywood, Fred and Ginger types, Cecil you would _love_ their look.' Carlos also reports that they appear to be filling themselves with poison. When asked about it, they each laughed a charming, charismatic laugh and told Carlos they prefer themselves this way. The man, who Carlos noted had a very dapper mustache, then offered to make Carlos a martini from the small bag of drinkware they carried with them, which Carlos declined, seeing as he was on the job."  
  
"Little is known about these newcomers, listeners, except that they appear exceptionally lighthearted and exceptionally wealthy. I suggested that Carlos ask these people -- who Carlos is now telling me go by Frank and Sadie, and are a married couple -- if they know Marcus Vanston, who is also exceptionally wealthy. Carlos tells me they said no, but when he did an impersonation of Marcus' speaking voice, Frank said it sounded 'oddly familiar.'"  
  
"Carlos reports that Frank and Sadie don't have, quote, 'the slightest idea where we are or _why_ we are _where_ we are,' and continue to toast each other with unusually large flasks of hard alcohol, which they continue to pull from secret pockets sewn into their exceptionally stylish and expensive-looking clothing. Sadie said being in Night Vale was, quote, 'not their usual thing,' and wondered aloud if there was 'some ghost problem to be sorted out.'"  
  
"Carlos said 'ghost problems' sounded scientifically interesting, but not _as_ scientifically interesting as how Frank and Sadie ended up in Night Vale in the first place. Frank then looked Carlos dead in the eyes and said, 'Well. _You're_ very attractive.' And listeners, let's be serious, who wouldn't say that, am I right? While Carlos politely pointed out that they were both happily taken, Sadie only seemed entertained, and called the exchange 'positively adorable.'"  
  
Cecil thought he heard something shatter in the break room. Maureen must have been making coffee.  
  
"Listeners, this is a weird coincidence. Frank and Sadie's names are all over the mysterious, improperly formatted script I found in my studio today, when my regular script went inexplicably missing. I sure hope these newcomers haven't entered this timeline in order to personally warp your or my reality! Man, would that be a bummer! I also sure hope that the knock I'm hearing on the studio door is something innocuous and totally unrelated to this turn of events, as I now send you to a brief weather report comprised of tinkling pianos of unknown origin."


End file.
